Devil's Carnival: Never trust a Scorpion

war_machine_rox


I'm too young for this shit!

I shouldn't even be here! I will probably die on this quest.


(no subject)
Devil's Carnival: Never trust a Scorpion
war_machine_rox



OBSESSED WITH THIS FACE.

IDEK...

(no subject)
Devil's Carnival: Never trust a Scorpion
war_machine_rox

So my mom and I went to go see the Princess Bride last night in theaters (OMG AWESOME!) and I literally swooned over Westley.

I have never swooned before.  It was quite an experience.  I've seen the movie about a hundred times, we used to rent it every weekend for about a year before we finally bought it on VHS.  Yes VHS.  It is my mom's and I favorite movie. 

Anyway, back to the swooning.  It's when he's telling Buttercup the story of how he became the Dread Pirate Roberts and he just gets this look on his face.  Idek but my breath left my lungs and I couldn't think or move for a moment.  I literally felt like a puddle of goo in the theater.

It was glorious.  Then at the end with the 'Drop.  Your.  Sword.' part, I had to fan myself.   Told my mom I got the vapors.  lol, she did too.  She also swooned and it's so weird because like I said, we've watched the movie together lots and lots but it wasn't until the big screen that we were able to get the full affect of his hotness. 

We will ignore what he looks like now.  It's not really Westley, it's his less hot twin brother.  Westley doesn't look fat and creepy.

Though I will say it is Westley in Psych because he was hilarious.

I also told her that monday night I had a dream about Steam Punk and Richard Armitage
My mom doesn't know what Steam Punk is but she still said it was an awesome dream just because of Richard.

Harry Potter tomorrow at Midnight.  I'm nervous, and sad and excited all at the same time.  My emotions are going to be out of control.

 

But I will look awesome decked out in all my Slytherin glory.  With my Hufflepuff scarf.  Gotta ~represent.

And Netflix is stupid.  Raising it's prices again for the second time in one year.  Now you have to pay for streaming and dvds separately.

This sucks because, while they have awesome tv shows on stream, they suck at their movie selections.  Fuck you Netflix.  Fuck you.



(no subject)
Devil's Carnival: Never trust a Scorpion
war_machine_rox
http://www.pinupgirlclothing.com/midlendres/pinupgirsigl.html

Everything on here, I want.

Stupid Captain America making me got through my pinup phase again.

Got damn I love red lipstick.

Fuck yeah America!
Devil's Carnival: Never trust a Scorpion
war_machine_rox

So I figure the only way I can successfully make it to my high school reunion without feeling like a loser is to be married to Chris Evans.

That way I can tell everyone that I am married to Captain America.

Me: 

Hello, losers.  This is my manCaptain America.

Oh is this your husband?  He's a doctor?  How nice.  This is my husband.  That's right, Captain America.  You know, head dude of The Avengers.  Sexiest man alive.  Bff with Robert Downey Jr.  Yeah, that guy.

How's your five kids you started having at 18?  Good? Awesome.  I don't have any kids but that's okay because I climb this *points to Chris* like a tree every night.  In fact, we just did it in the bathroom.  Sounds gross?  Whatever, I just did the nasty with Captain America five minutes ago. 

*Steps up to podium* That's right bitches.  That scrawny, awkward girl with glasses and braces throughout most of her high school career is now married to Captain America.   MMHMMM.  That same girl who you always thought of as 'Just Heather' someone you can laugh with, talk to, occasionally hang out with but never ask out,  is now married to a god damn superhero.  How's that for making something of herself. 

Now if you'll excuse me, we will be leaving now to have some awesome Captain America sex.  Thank you and good night.

Then we proceed to exit just like this

Song and everything.

If this doesn't happen then I'm not going to the reunion. 




i had a tough time in high school

(no subject)
Devil's Carnival: Never trust a Scorpion
war_machine_rox

I have been on such a Narnia and finally watched Voyage of the Dawn Treader. 

I wanted to like it.  I really did.  But something seemed off.  Maybe it was the length? It was shorter than the others.  It also felt less magical than the others but that could probably be explained that they weren't strictly speaking, in Narnia and on a ship the entire time but Idk. 

Probably need to watch it again.  Ben Barnes looked good.  Better with a tan and his hair wasn't born with it but still looked good.

 

It had way more Edmund in it though and he is my absolute favorite character in the history of probably ever.  And Eustace was a wonderful addition.  A big pain in the ass but it works and he has ~growth. 

Anyway, back to Edmund.  My flawless hbic.  Who was perfection in Prince Caspian (even though he was robbed of lines) he still owned that movie and was badass fighting with two swords and was all, 'yeah we have a war to fight, no time for emotions' with Peter before popping his shoulder back in place.  IDK, I love this little boy man. 



Thank god he's legal. 

Got into a little argument with the roommate who said Edmund was a punk and I was all, sorry you don't like character growth....bitch.

I won.



(no subject)
Devil's Carnival: Never trust a Scorpion
war_machine_rox

You know what the best thing ever is?

Watching Jurassic Park on the big screen.  First time I ever saw it in theathers and it was marvelous and still holds up and Sam Neill was fione.

You know what the worst thing ever is?

Having a little teeny bopper sitting next to me texting on her phone the entire time.  If you're going to text throughout a movie at least have the decency to have a touchscreen phone.  Your buttons are fucking loud.  I don't care how fast you can friggin type, they are still loud and the faster you are the more annoying you are.

And I couldn't even be my badass self and tell her to fucking stop, yo.  I was the thirdish wheel on my roomie's date thing (I only went for the movie, didn't care) and he brought his bff along and they both brought their kids and the other brought his annoying niece.  At a Movie Tavern (which I hate, I don't want to smell greasy food and hear people ordering while I watch my movie. 

Needless to say, I was stuck next to the niece.  My roomie was next to her boy thing and they were holding hands and I couldn't have any bff moments with my bff. :(

Not bitter. 

Whatever.  The texting was way worse than the tornado warnings and hail.  We weren't hit or anything but there was a good moment where we were worried.

Whatever.  Jurassic Park will forever and always remain flawless.



(no subject)
Devil's Carnival: Never trust a Scorpion
war_machine_rox

So went to go see Thor again today with my mommy (OMG I LOVE THAT MOVIE SFM! I CAN'T EVEN)

*ahem* So there is only about ten of us in the theater and you know how people are all like 'well go to the earliest showing and you'll miss all the annoying kids/teenagers random ass rude people'.  Well they are wrong.

So okay, we are sitting in the row in front of those metal bars so we can prop are feet up like a boss, and the others are scattered about.  This dude comes in during the previews and sits two seats away from me.  Really?  A whole fucking empty theater and he has to sit two seats away.  Isn't it, like, a rule or something that when the theater is empty, you don't sit in the same row as the only other people there?  Well, it should be.

So he then proceeds to pull out his phone and pretend he's all popular and shit and he keeps it out through the whole previews. 
I'm all, 'oh hale no' but my mom tells me to calm my tits and I figure, well it's just the previews so whatever.

Then the movie starts.  His phone is still out.  The movie starts with a scene during night time.  I give him a moment.  Then when he doesn't pocket it I turn to him and hiss 'SIR!'  He jumps, quickly puts his phone down and pays attention to the movie.

Honestly?  That was probably the proudest moment of my life :D


You'd think that was it but no.  So the sound goes out during the bar scene with the human viking, there was a major storm and I made a lame joke about Thor being the god of thunder.

I'm all sad because it goes over to a scene where Loki speaks and his voice makes me melt but whatever.  I pull out my phone to text the roommate about the storms, he pulls out his phone to whatever and when the movie comes back (they rewound it) he puts it away again.  Such a good doggie.  But anyway, throughout the whole movie, the whole damn movie, you could hear these two little not a girl, not yet a woman little hussies carrying a full on conversation in the back.  Like, exagerated whispers and giggling throughout the most inappropriate parts.  They were shushed a couple of times but that didn't stop them. 

I wanted to go full Loki on them

but mom told me to keep calm.
Toddlers have been quieter than them and I've had my few share of toddlers in theaters.  Which is annoying in and of itself.

So mom and I were walking out of the theater and they were in front of us and
Friend one:  That movie was horrible.
Friend two: I kind of liked it.
Me: How can you even tell if you like a movie if you talk throughout the whole thing?
Mom: Shut up Heather!

They didn't hear me anyway but the question still stands.  Why would you pay to have a two hour convo with your friend?  Why would you pay to watch a movie if you aren't even going to pay attention to it?  I can understand being bored and throwing out a few inane comments every now and then.  I do that.  But it's only a couple times and it's in very low whispers in my friends ear so I won't disturb people. 

 

Why are people so rude now?  Where did all the manners go? 



(no subject)
Devil's Carnival: Never trust a Scorpion
war_machine_rox

Oh Thor.  You have exceeded my already high expectations.  I am so proud of you.  Now go forth and conquer the box office.

It wasn't perfect.  I won't admit is was.  But it was near enough to how a comic book movie should be.  Say what you want about Batman Begins/THe Dark Knight holding the reins to all comic book adaptations but there is  reason why I've seen Iron Man more times than either of those.  And why I've already seen Thor two and a half times even though it only came out yesterday.  *ahem thank you internet *ahem*

Also without the Joker TDK would be as boring as hale.  Idec, when the Joker is taken away, I turn off the movie.  I don't care about Harvey Dent's waste of Two-Face.  Blah blah blah

Anyway, back to Thor.

Okay not really Thor (though he was great, and fit, and abs) but about Loki.  Oh my bb Loki.  I've been in love since I saw the CC sneak peek and you get a glimpse of him a couple of times and then the helmet. OMG THE HELMET WAS SO BEAUTIFUL AND HE WAS BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT.  And I want to be him for halloween. 

My poor misunderstood Loki.  :'''(

Spoilers.  Highlight to read.
Okay so yeah, his little 'joke' got two guards killed and he wanted to flog(?) a guard for being late, but he at least told the guard to tell Odin they would most likely be dead.   And I'm sure it's hard to be the little brother to Thor, the arrogant boy.  And he was probably picked on a lot by the other Asgardians for being different and him not understanding why.  And I'm getting too deep and meta for his so I'm just gonna end it at he really meant that he did it all for his father and try to live up to his brothers legend.  In his own twisted way.


Love you~

Um, I also like the way he sits on a throne.  Like a boss. 


 

Yeah, I'll keep rooting for him. 

Fast Five is awesome also.  So many hot men I nearly combusted.  Except for Paul Walker.  He can leave.



(no subject)
Devil's Carnival: Never trust a Scorpion
war_machine_rox

Have any of you been watching Game of Thrones? 

Because

OMG IT'S SO AWESOME AND AMAZING AND WONDERFUL AND EVERYTHING IS BEAUTIFUL AND NOTHING HURTS.


Look at that beautiful troll face.  How can you resist?

Incest, badass women, badass dwarves, beautiful hair, hints of dragons, Jason Momoa's ass.  Danger, intrigue, politics, twincest.

All a girl could want.

(no subject)
Devil's Carnival: Never trust a Scorpion
war_machine_rox
Damn it!

All my facebook friends (except a choice few) are bringing me down with all the 'I don't care about the royal wedding' schtick they have going on.  Those special little snowflakes.

Ugh, you know what motherfucker? I care.  Okay? I care. 

Not enough to get up at three in the morning mind you but when I did get up at 5:50 and after my shower I turned it on and watched them come out of the church to the carriage waiting for them.  Practically beaming they were.  It was glorious.

And her dress! OMG HER DRESS!

I want to steal it from her.  It will be my something borrowed when I marry Prince Harry.  Oh yes.  Just you wait. 

Royal Wedding 2016. 

You are viewing war_machine_rox